cultural PTSD

I've never had anxiety 
but I imagine it would be
similar to this feeling that consumed me 
as I walked up to the grocery store and then stopped 
because the only thought running through my mind 
was 'is today the day that I'll be shot'
feeling forced to look my kids in the eyes
and tell them sugar coated lies about why
they can't come along with me 
when in reality, I'm just afraid of the potentiality 
of them watching me die, or visa versa
how does this country have such an aversion
to the Black lives used, abused, and disposed 
by the white supremacy that leaves us exposed 
to the Anti Black hate crimes
I'm beginning to believe there will never be a time
when we are safe, or even safer than we have been to this day 
when Black people are slain, you think and you pray
but you don't DO. 
you choose to be ignorant.

you've made it clear you only care when it's happening to you.